Every time I think of something great to post, I forget about it. When I am put on the spot, I freeze. I’ll use this entry as if I am writing in my personal diary:
Today was lukewarm. I have come to the realization this year is about transition and transformation: the year of real change.
I have many projects coming down the pipeways, and I feel ok about them. I know I am capable of them and I will do my best with what I am given.
I meditated today. It was short but good. Sometimes meditations don’t have to be an hour long to get that ah-ha moment or peace that you crave. Sometimes sitting up straight for 5-10 minutes in silence is good enough.
One of my NY resolutions is self-love. To make my mental health more of a priority than my physical health this year. No more fad diets. I’ll eat mindfully to nourish my body. No more negative self-talk. I am enough, and that’s good enough for me. No more comparing myself to other women or women against women. All sizes are good. No one has to be pretty for anyone. I encourage you to go a day without makeup in public. It is so liberating, and quite honestly, no one thinks you’re a hideous monster-they don’t care.
No more stressing (or at least moderating it better). Be disciplined in your meditation practice and make it a priority.
No more overworking yourself. As the old saying goes, no one ever laid on their death bed wishing they had worked more.
No more fear! This is a big one for me. I am going to be brave. I could be a MOTHER to a precious soul one day. I have got to learn to stick up for myself, be a better advocate, and live my life boldly, all the while being respectful to others.
During meditation today I realized something. I acknowledge I can be a jealous person, or someone that feels victimized a lot… but that got me to thinking: Is it all in my head?
Am I really a victim in any scenario? My feelings are valid but perhaps that’s not the reality or intention in most cases I am in. Then that got me to thinking, am I living in denial of something? Am I living my life for myself or am I living my life to please others? People who live fearlessly are looked at admiringly and judged harshly… at first we welcome the bold ones who live the lives they chose, but then we grow tired of them, probably jealousy masking our insecurities of wanting to live our lives authentically, and then eventually we love the brave person again.
In this new year I am going to investigate what I could be in denial about. My meditations are going to have the intention of listening to myself. What do I need from myself if I do feel inadequate or jealous? (Those two usually go hand-in-hand).
I encourage you to meditate and see if there are any faults holding you back from being the best you you can be.
That blog post was all over the place. Can you tell I have a Vata imbalance?
Love and light,