They say there are two things certain in this life: Death and Taxes. I would like to add “Change” to that list.
Change is happening all around us, every millisecond of the day. You are not the same person you were a year ago, let alone a day, or even an hour ago. Our perspectives, dispositions, outlooks… they are constantly changing second by second, contradicted by internal emotions or external factors. Either way, we are, and forever will be, susceptible to change.
So why do we accept the statement most people make when they say, “I don’t like change.” HELLO. “Change, “ “Evolve,” “Growth,” all of these words may as well be synonyms for “Life.” However, I am one of these people who has used this excuse my entire life when something would change. I don’t like change, at all. I think it started when I began to realize we would move every two to three years from the time I was 1 year old up until I turned 8 years old, and we landed in Texas. For the past 20 years, I have lived in the same state, grown up with the same people, and still have the same friends, yet I still detest change.
Perhaps I am unwelcoming to it because I craved it so much growing up. And I acknowledge that change is inevitable and helps individuals to adapt better to stresses in everyday life; however, we (I) have been understanding and accepting when people mention they don’t want new friends, or they don’t want to get out of their comfort zones, like we’re almost enabling them, which will ultimately lead them to tougher lives ahead… Because, again, change is life, life is change… they’re practically interchangeable.
I listened to a part of an interview on the concept of motivation, and how it is simply not a true concept. Our brains are wired to protect us from bad situations; therefore, any risk presented to us, we are biologically wired to avoid because of how are brains are hardwired. Which leads to the conclusion that you have to force yourself to do things out of your comfort zone, despite how content you are. Whether or not you fail, you’ve got a 50/50 chance at succeeding, so why not?
People are reluctant to change; yet they want it at the same time. We crave to get that job promotion, but we are reluctant to take on the responsibilities that come with the pay increase. We desire for a new relationship, yet when things get hard, we are reluctant to put in the hard work to move the relationship forward.
The truth is, we want things to stay the same but get better on our own terms. If you would take a moment to internalize that concept, you would realize how naïve it sounds, and how selfish and impossible that actually is. Most of all it is impossible considering there are 7.5 billion people on this planet and counting. You cannot expect things to never change when you share an earth with 7.5 BILLION PEOPLE. We are humans, forever evolving physically, but also mentally with our beliefs, values, and opinions. Without evolution, we would have died. It is essential for your SURVIVAL to learn to change, adapt, get accustomed to the new situations you will inevitably face. A butterfly would stay a worm if the didn’t go through metamorphosis.
And you’re probably thinking to yourself, That’s naïve she is saying my expectations affect everyone, they only affect a few. WRONG. Your expectations that turn to actions affect the totality of this universe rather you can accept that or not. Everyone is connected in some way. My successes are your successes, and yours are mine. The reason there is a disconnect from some of us and a connection with others is because we, some of the 7.5 billion of us, are reluctant to and for change, while others are more open to it.
To state an example; with the new presidency, we are longing for the days of an Industrial society, with more U.S. jobs and U.S. production. In reality our society is moving away from the Industrial society it once was, and moving towards a primarily Technical society. The reason some of us can’t accept this fact is because we are reluctant to undergo this change; because in this situation, change may mean growth… to go back to school and take some classes on computers, to go back for a college degree in computer science. It is hard to accept the fact that your job may become obsolete when a computer is capable of doing it. The idea alone makes one feel inferior.
But the thing is, reluctance to change creates unrealistic expectations and ideals that everyone has to think the same way as “me” or “they” are “wrong.” This is simply not the case, and will ultimately stunt your growth to mature into an open-minded, well-rounded, adult, who is capable of hearing others opinions, beliefs, thoughts, and concerns.
This is why communication is so important. This is why teaching children that constructive criticism (and teaching them what it looks and sounds like), is important. This is why debating, the concept of play for younger children, recess, and extracurricular activities are so important. These are all times when children are allowed to think freely, there is more output than input, which allows for them to learn from and interact with their peers who hold different points of view. This is how we grow.
My point is, though we all cling to the familiar and don’t want a good thing to end when we are in the high times of life, the unknown, or the great abyss we call the future, is inevitable. We navigate towards the future with the help of change. It is pivotal to teach children that change (life) consists of the good and the bad moments. So acknowledge the good times, and grow during the bad times. Listen to others and be open to what they have to say. Embrace the concept of change, and you will be a better person for it.
Namaste and God bless,